Lose the lens flare, please… or The USS Enterprise vs Gigantic Japanese Tentacle Monster Pt.1

So I’ve just come back from watching Star Trek with a couple of friends, one who is a Trekkie, and two who aren’t. There’s just so much I want to say about it, but firstly, something not about the movie, but about the camera work involved. This will be the only part of this post related to the title, by the way.

Aside: I know, I know, it’s a Sci-Fi movie, what camera work? It’s all green screen, ain’t it?

There was so much lens flare it actually took my attention off Spock’s ears and Uhura‘s ass. WHAT KIND OF IDIOT LET THIS COME OUT OF THE EDITING DEPARTMENT? Lens flare is not in fashion anymore, people. In fact, from the earliest days of cinema, photography directors have been trying to reduce lens flare as much as possible! The thing is, it got accepted as the norm by the average moviegoer, and so they kept it around, even artificially adding it as in many, many SF films, including this one (since, I presume, they weren’t able to film in space, where the most gratuitous lens flare abuse takes place).

Okay, now that that’s over with, onward to the review/summary (Beware of spoilers.):

Oh, the rest of this post is rated NC-17 for content, okay?

 

Frankenstein’s Monster Actually…

I found something on Newgrounds recently which is an example of fun ranting about bad movies. I.e. Twilight. Yes that Twilight. I read the book. Holy ****. At the time, I didn’t consider it to be much of anything, but with more and more hype and squealing fangirls clogging up the Interwebs due to the release of the movie, it’s high time someone said something.

Be warned, strong language – 15+.

The more I think about it, the more Twilight seems like an adolescent wish for a fantastic (and by fantastic I mean fantasy-like) life. By the time you get to the second, third and fourth books (which admittedly I have not read but have had to rely on my sis for summaries thereof), it just feels forced. Come on. Say it with me, ‘Die already, will you, you stupid useless sparkly hairy Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu oh for goodness’ sake prats!’

So yeah. VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES SHOULD JUST GET ALONG. Dammit. Besides, everyone knows Frankenstein’s Monster played by Robert de Niro pwns all.

 

Spaceships and swastikas.

Some time ago, I watched Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning. Ostensibly a Star Trek parody, it contained a lot of things that lots of people would not find funny. But I did. And it was made by Finns. So, yes I watched it with subtitles. Basically what happens is that the Star Trek people find a maggot-hole and go through it and enter the Babylon 5 universe and duke it out with awesome digital special effects and such and practically everyone dies in the end.

Now, the creators of this parody are making a new movie, one not derivative of others’ work. It is called Iron Sky and it looks good.

Here’s the official teaser:

A summary:

Near the end of WW2, the Nazis invented anti-gravity. Knowing they would lose, they left the Earth and established a base on the dark side of the moon (YES WEIYAN). Now it is 2018. They’re baa-ack.

Of course you can’t expect a movie with such an absurd premise to be entirely serious, but from the trailer I really want to watch this. Also the music was specially made for this production and I like that too. So hurrah for independent productions and ridiculous plots.